exhausted…

I have noticed this recurring patterns where folks Professionally and Personally,  do tirednot want to take the time to research, and think through a problem. They want their, or any solution to be quickly accepted, adopted and then deployed and to deal with the  And then they become angry at everyone when it does not work the way they expected or they come to me to ask why.

I am sooooo freakin tired of having to think things through for folks I have my own problems/demons I am dealing with. I would not call myself heartless. I do feel empathy and compassion for other folks plight. BUT…

My compassion and empathy has limitations. If I cautioned you that the actions you were planning and doing were inconsistent, or ill planned, and you did it anyway, You Own THAT not me.  Stop trying to engage me in a discussion. If you didnt listen/value my suggestions to me then, why would you listen to me now?

I don’t have the answers for everything. I have my own problems I am dealing with. If you’re looking to rant and complain about a situation, great. Preface the discussion that way. But do not continue coming to me asking for guidance concerning problems I have already given solutions to.   My time is as important as yours.  I refuse to enable folks who continue to make bad decisions, and depend on  others.
Accountability of your actions is how you define character and resolve.  If you are constantly going to others to fix your problems, congrats, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

 

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Fear and Apathy…

clown

So, the incoming clown won by a narrow margin, and I continue  struggling with the results.

I shouldn’t say I was surprised. the dumbing down of our culture grew faster than I anticipated. I had hoped with the successful past 8 years, people would recognize their mistakes and prevent another global EFTard from taking office. I was mistaken.

Clearly, People are more ignorant, racist and stupid then I had feared. I think technology is partly to blame. With the instant gratification culture, (porn, money, religion,  or relationships) people want things easy, and fast. Thinking is too hard. Reading is too hard. Logic, is too hard.  Let someone else tell me how to think, who to hate and why. Technology makes it incredibly easy for anyone to fail, faster bigger and harder..

The individual effort to be informed, make intelligent decisions has been replaced by, PT Barnum’s. shilling controversy and buzz, without consequence. And with the increasing amount of idiots spouting hate, and fear, I doubt this will  change, anytime soon.

For what its worth, I think people voted for this clown purely for hateful reasons. it was never about improving culture and society as a whole, but they saw him as their champion to take away from others. The irony is,  hes going to take everyone down, including them. Not just the ones they want.  They are just too stupid to know or care.

I feel  fear and trepidation,  for what the next 4 years will bring. We spent a decade destabilizing a country’s infrastructure, fueled global hate, nearly imploded on our own economic abyss, because of corporate  greed and corruption inherent to elected public officials. Folks we empowered to make decisions for us, sold us out and we were still chanting their praises, as they took us away, in chains.. I  don’t think we will recover from our next big screw up.

To the new tenant at my old place

To the new tenant at my old place.

BurkeLake apartment checkout (5)I wanted to give you a brief introduction as to why the place looks like that. I moved into that apartment complex, 10 years ago, 7 of them, from the one I just moved out of.

I moved from Southern Mi. to Northern Va. to start fresh.   I had just completed my undergrad studies. and wanted to put my recent separation behind me.  I was emotionally drained, and financially spent. So, taking what little  possessions I owned, Cat and I drove the 800 miles in a beat up Chevy Pickup, to a new job, a new apartment, hoping to shed my past demons and begin anew.

In the 10 years I’ve lived there, I have seen friends come and go, (but have my close friends stand by me). At the apartment, I have  seen and weathered; divorces, squatters, work frenemies, neighbors with kids who constantly got locked out, neighbors who are loud, lonely, looking for IT help, grad school, several career changes, several snow storms.

I cant believe I have lived in those apartments for 10 years, but in all fairness, I wouldnt call it living. It wasnt till these past few years that I met someone and really live again. Opened my heart and soul and felt whole again.

So, for the new tenant in my unit. I dont know what you brings you here, specifically to that unit. I hope you find solace, happiness and success while staying in that unit. It has sheltered me from my storms, I hope it does the same for you.

 

Best Wishes.

the guy formerly in #104

 

Moving on…

Extracting myself from you and your drama, started small and got easier as you continued your path of self destruction.
Your boastful comments about your work, earnings and lifestyle, brought you the attention and flattery you crave. It also brought you the girl of your nightmares.
We cautioned you, NOT to remarry so quickly, and date awhile.
We Said “You just finished your divorce, don’t rush. Rebuild your finances, take some time away to recharge your emotions and soul.”
But your inflated ego demanded that you flaunt your next conquest to everyone around you. Prove to everyone you could get someone else. Better, richer, prettier then your last ex wife.
I told you, your career choices were unstable and that I knew and explained why. but you know better, and had to prove you could do well, regardless.
When the marriage and job got bad You told us you don’t need or want our comments, and guidance, just our support.
Here it is. 5 years later and the bloom is off the rose. The wonder boy who bragged he knows everything, is stuck.
Your ego took you down this path and you can’t undo what you’ve done, or figure out a path to get out. I don’t have an answer for you either.
I tried explaining to you, you have more to lose then I. Stop acting stupid and living in the now.
I think the severity of your situation has sunk in. You realize your actions have consequences, and that hasty judgements are fatal.
To be fair, I spent my youth making and learning from my mistakes.
I don’t think you gave yourself the opportunity to do so, maybe that’s what fueled these poor decisions.
I pity you, and your situation. If I could help, I would. But Even if I could, I worry, me helping you is enabling your bad choices. Continue reading

An Intrepid Journey

tall shipA very close of friend of mine who was staying with me has decided to return to his former home state. His hope is to reestablish his home roots and be closer to his family.

Its been a good time hanging out with him, and reconnecting after a long absence. I forgot how similar we are in attitudes. Hes more family then some of my own kin at times.

anyway, as he begins his long journey back, I hope hes found the strength and wisdom to find his own way again.

I offer this one advice to others like him who may have lost their way,

Do not let your past mistakes define you. Learn from them, Forgive yourself and Move on.

My Beloved

My Beloved

I got her as a gift from my fiance as we struggled to keep our relationship intact.  

Cat, as my fiance told me, was to keep me company while she went off and sorted out her feelings and conflicted emotions about continuing on as a couple.

Cat was barely 8 weeks old when She picked her out a kitten line up. Cat, was sickly, thin, and distrustful of everyone. I dont know why but she and I just connected.

When Cat & I 1st met, We were both angry, confused, distrustful of everyone. Maybe she sensed my feeling of abandonment and understood. Regardless, We realized the one thing we had in common was, choosing to trust the wrong person with our future.

Anyway, Cat has matured to a graceful, and queenlike grand dame. These past 12 years have been great, and I look forward to many more years with her.

My Frustration with Teabaggers

mad_hatter_teaparty
My Frustration with Tea Party pukes are, their annoying red herring tactics when called on their comments. E.g, Someone complains about something, they immediately pounce and then redirect for their rants, thread jacking the topic. You may have started out with one rant and then it morphs into and odd discussion where the message is lost and its completely off its rails.
Everyone has an opinion, I get it. BUT, if you havent read up on the subject and your just pontificating to others on what you feel is important, you end up looking stupid, ignorant and entitled.
Its very hard to have a polite discussion because everyone comes to a discussion with whats important to them. Emotions get heated and everyone loses sight of what the initial point of the discussion was. A polite way to fix a problem. Regardless, No value in discussing anything.
I am quickly losing patience with many of my conservative friends. Luckily I dont have that many left. But hopefully, their frustration with me will overcome their willingness to reconnect on social media.